I used to have this belief that if it was God's plan for my life, everything would simply fall into place and I wouldn't have to worry about anything. It would be a comfortable transition. Now, there may be some truth to this statement, but as I've gotten older, I've learned something. Being a Christ-follower is no walk in the park! It's the most rewarding and genuine part of who I am, but no one ever said it was easy.
A few years ago, I was working on my master's degree. I was working a horrible dead-end job that I hated. I was miserable. It was one of those places that literally sucks the life right out of you on a day-to-day basis. Then, an opportunity came up for a position at a local university that I desperately wanted. I applied immediately! I put every ounce of faith I had left in God coming through for me. I was expectant and waiting in awe of what God was going to do. I literally waited by the phone daily hoping for the opportunity to leave my current job situation. I would even look for signs from God, trying to decipher what God was trying to tell me. Then, the phone rang, but it wasn't what I expected. It was the chair of the hiring committee calling to let me know that Human Resources had denied my application. I was crushed. I mean... crushed! I literally came home in tears. It was just another blow to my bruised ego. Looking back, that was one of the worst seasons I've been through so far, but I discovered something. God didn't leave me. God was still working even though I couldn't see it. That December, I graduated with my master's degree. Just before graduation, I had an interview for the same position that had been open previously. Just after graduation, I got the call that I had been waiting for. Eventually, in God's timing, it all fell into place. Was it comfortable for me? NO. Was it rewarding to witness God's provision over my life? Absolutely!
I've learned that God is not as concerned about our comfort as we are. I've also learned that, at least in my own life, God seems to deliberately put me in situations that require risk, trust, and faith. Actually, he seems to do that over and over and over. Along the way, I've learned a few things that help me as I run the race of life.
1. It's all about perspective. I hate waiting. I really hate waiting. And for whatever reason, I just can't synchronize my watch with God's. He works in a completely different format of time. But, waiting is where growth happens, or it least it has been in my life. That's a tough pill to swallow for me, and if I'm honest, most days, I don't want to hear someone tell me that. Just remember, it's not our job to figure God out. It's not our job to understand exactly what God is doing. It is simply our job to live in a relationship with Him. The rest will fall into place. I'm so guilty of trying to figure God out. I've learned, I usually don't understand what God is doing until after the fact when I look back. Even then, sometimes, I'm still thinking, "God, what in the world?!?!" In the midst of my uncertainty, of trying to figure everything out, I constantly have to remind myself that it's not my responsibility to have all of the answers.
2. Surrender. It took a long hard season for me to get to this place in my life, and if I'm honest, I still haven't got it figured out. The difference between now and then is I'm more willing to surrender myself, but I still struggle with it fully. In my life, I finally realized that regardless of what my eyes see, God is for me and is not against me. I have to intentionally surrender my problems to him every day... sometimes several times during the day. It's not easy. We are naturally wired to make everything about ourselves, but I'm learning to step back and ask what God wants me to do, what or where God is calling me. Sometimes the answers come and sometimes they don't, and that's okay. We will never have all the answers.
3. Be willing. Do you know the question I hate most in job interviews? I'll tell you-- "What's your 5 year plan?" This question always baffles me. If I'm honest, it kind of ticks me off too. The southern redneck comes out in me quick, because I'm want my response to be (in a loud and obnoxious tone), "NUN-YA. NUN-YA business!" Seriously though, I'm still trying to figure out if I want a cheeseburger or a salad for lunch! And you want me to tell you what I'm planning to do with my life for the next 5 years?? You see, that's just it though. It's not my life. Who do I belong to? I belong to God. So, how can anyone expect me to know what God is going to do over the next 5 years? I've learned, at least for me, that my plan doesn't really matter. Yes, God knows the desires of our heart, but His calling, His plan is so much greater (and better if I'm honest) that anything I could conjure up in my imagination.
This interview question gets to me because I have a different perspective. It's because I intentionally choose (most days) to surrender and be willing to serve a God that loves me and is already ahead of me. Life is tough. It's unfair. Good people have horrible things happen to them, but I truly believe that God is good. God is for us, not against us, and has great things ahead that we cannot even fathom.
